3,2,1.. Smile

I often wonder how many people can relate to this moment; pull up car, breath, breath, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t face this’, breath, breath, switch off your thoughts, breath; turn the ignition off, breath, ‘you got this, just like you did last time’.

3, 2, 1.. Smile.

You put on a pretty convincing act, you even begin to believe it yourself. I remember the very first time I did this, it was after the death of my step-father 4 years ago; I was driving the short journey to my friends house when something triggered and I began to cry, I quickly began degrading myself, and talking to myself out loud ‘stop this, you can’t let her see you like this, sort yourself out’. I slowed my driving so as to give myself more time to sort myself out. As I pulled into the drive, I smiled; if she asked, I would say I have been laughing, I thought. Luckily, she didn’t notice.. phew! I remember reflecting on that moment, and thinking to myself ‘I hope I never have to do that again’.. I did it again many times.

One of the positives to experiencing emotional pain, is that I have a newfound compassion for others; I put on such a convincing act, what’s to say that the person in front of me isn’t doing the same? I wish everyone thought like this, perhaps then everyone would think before they speak. Words hurt; your words can turn someone’s single good day of the week in to another bad day, it could turn it from a manageable day, to an unbearable day.

No matter how well you think you know someone, you may not know their internal struggle. No matter how well you think you know someone, it does not give you the right to say what you like to them, to take your anger out on them, or to degrade their choices. You have no right to comment on a person’s behaviour or appearance because it doesn’t meet your norm. How dare you belittle another person because you’re having a bad day.

Please think before you speak, your words may seem futile to you but to someone who is already in so much pain, they could be the final straw- don’t let your words be their breaking point.

You always have an option; compassion or judgement. If you can’t do the former, at least keep your judgement to yourself. Think before you speak ♡

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